Latest Slurps
Singapore Government Hikes MediShield Premiums To Ensure Sinkies Never Retire
The Ministry of Health has announced a mandatory premium hike for MediShield Life, ensuring every citizen remains a dedicated philanthropist for the n...
Singaporean Female Demands Audited Financial Statements Before First Tinder Coffee Date
In a move hailed by national efficiency experts, 27-year-old Cheryl Tan has updated her Hinge profile to include a mandatory KYC link. The Singaporea...
PA Ballroom Dancing Declared Singapore’s Deadliest High-Risk Contact Sport
The People's Association has officially reclassified Community Club ballroom dancing as a Category 1 combat sport following a spike in glitter-related...
HDB Extends MOP To Lifetime To Ensure Sinkies Never Escape
The Housing Development Board has officially announced that the Minimum Occupation Period will be extended to 99 years to ensure no citizen ever exper...
Mandai Pandas Demand 7-Figure Bonus To Consider Mediocre Sex
Mandai Wildlife Group has threatened to evict Kai Kai and Jia Jia after the pair requested a "High-SES" lifestyle upgrade before touching each other. ...
Singaporean Pays $200 To Perform Unpaid Labour Over Boiling Vat
Singaporeans are flocking to hotpot chains to pay premium prices for the privilege of performing manual kitchen labour. The trend involves waiting th...
LTA Rebrands 4 PM Shift Change As ‘National Cardio Hour’
The Land Transport Authority has officially rebranded the 4 PM taxi shift change as a mandatory "National Cardio Hour" for stranded citizens. The glo...
Local CEO Becomes Total Fucking Moron Minutes After Putting On No. 4
The Singapore Armed Forces has once again successfully transformed thousands of high-functioning professionals into absolute, mouth-breathing liabilit...
SG Couple Spends $6,000 on Japan Trip Just to Bone
An SG couple has returned from a $6,000 Tokyo "sex-cation" intended to provide a reprieve from their parents' suffocating presence. While the trip wa...
Night Safari Hyena Only Wakes Up To Mock Tourists' Marriages
Mandai Wildlife Reserve has confirmed that its spotted hyenas have officially stopped pretending to enjoy raw meat and have pivoted to mocking the int...
Local Man Pays $22 To Eat Trash In Air-Conditioned Misery
Singapore’s premier shopping malls have successfully convinced the public that paying $19 for a bowl of lukewarm grease is a luxury lifestyle choice. ...
LTA Installs Proximity-Based Landmines Under All Reserved MRT Seats
The Land Transport Authority has unveiled a foolproof method to ensure commuters surrender seats to the elderly. All reserved seats will be fitted wi...
Real Fake News
Brazil Scores Six While FAS Studies If Goals Are Legally Allowed
Brazil’s 6-2 demolition of Panama has left Singapore football fans in a state of absolute shock, primarily because they didn't realize a team was allo...
Trump Confirms Iran Pinky Promised Not To Atomise The World
Donald Trump announced he has secured a verbal pinky swear from Iran to stop building nukes, a move he described as the greatest deal in history. Teh...
Local Man Confused How French Riot Without Using Stomp App First
Singaporeans are currently processing the news of 780 arrests in France with the same blank stare they give to a domestic helper asking for a day off....
Sinkie Demands Typhoon Postpone Landslides Until After His Omakase Reservation
Local marketing executive Tan Ah Kow is reportedly “absolutely livid” after Typhoon Jangmi threatened to moisten his $4,000 Tokyo “healing” trip. Whi...
Millionaire Loh Kean Yew Mistakenly Stands On Podium’s Top Step
Local badminton millionaire Loh Kean Yew successfully manifested his way onto the top step of the podium yesterday, proving that if you earn enough mo...
Pete Hegseth To Deter China By Showing Off Massive Fucking Triceps
U.S. War Secretary Pete Hegseth arrived in Singapore today, immediately asserting dominance by performing 400 flutter kicks on the tarmac before ackno...
Super Shiok Stories
Singapore Government Hikes MediShield Premiums To Ensure Sinkies Never Retire
The Ministry of Health has announced a mandatory premium hike for MediShield Life, ensuring every citizen remains a dedicated philanthropist for the n...
Singaporean Female Demands Audited Financial Statements Before First Tinder Coffee Date
In a move hailed by national efficiency experts, 27-year-old Cheryl Tan has updated her Hinge profile to include a mandatory KYC link. The Singaporea...
PA Ballroom Dancing Declared Singapore’s Deadliest High-Risk Contact Sport
The People's Association has officially reclassified Community Club ballroom dancing as a Category 1 combat sport following a spike in glitter-related...
HDB Extends MOP To Lifetime To Ensure Sinkies Never Escape
The Housing Development Board has officially announced that the Minimum Occupation Period will be extended to 99 years to ensure no citizen ever exper...
Mandai Pandas Demand 7-Figure Bonus To Consider Mediocre Sex
Mandai Wildlife Group has threatened to evict Kai Kai and Jia Jia after the pair requested a "High-SES" lifestyle upgrade before touching each other. ...
Singaporean Pays $200 To Perform Unpaid Labour Over Boiling Vat
Singaporeans are flocking to hotpot chains to pay premium prices for the privilege of performing manual kitchen labour. The trend involves waiting th...