Singaporeans are flocking to hotpot chains to pay premium prices for the privilege of performing manual kitchen labour.

The trend involves waiting three hours just to have a teenager perform a frantic noodle dance in your face.

Patrons enjoy sweating profusely while fishing for frozen wagyu lost in a sea of sodium-induced hypertension.

"Liddat is the life, lah; I pay $8 for one slice of luncheon meat then I cook ownself, damn shiok because the waiter give me free manicure," said diner Tan Ah Kow.

Others claim collagen-infused soup reverses ageing, despite inhaling enough steam to wallpaper a flat.

Nothing says luxury quite like paying a week’s salary to leave smelling like a burnt garlic clove.