Donald Trump announced he has secured a verbal pinky swear from Iran to stop building nukes, a move he described as the greatest deal in history.

Tehran responded by asking for twelve billion dollars, which Trump reportedly plans to pay using expired casino vouchers and autographed MAGA hats.

Singaporeans have largely ignored the threat of global annihilation, focusing instead on whether this peace deal will finally lower petrol prices at the pump.

“As long as the oil keeps flowing, they can bomb each other into the Stone Age,” said one PHV driver currently charging a $45 surge for a five-minute trip to Yishun.

The Ministry of Defence has reassured citizens that a nuclear blast would still be significantly less painful than another GST hike.

If a total nuclear winter does occur, local experts suggest the sub-zero temperatures might finally stop the aunties at Jurong East from complaining about the humidity.