Singapore’s premier shopping malls have successfully convinced the public that paying $19 for a bowl of lukewarm grease is a luxury lifestyle choice.

Patrons flock to these neon-lit hellscapes to experience the thrill of paying triple for the exact same sodium-induced coma found at the local void deck.

The acoustic environment is scientifically engineered to mimic a jet engine, ensuring that all meaningful human conversation is replaced by incoherent screaming.

“Walao, this $15 Nasi Lemak is just one small ikan bilis and vibes only ah?” remarked local diner Tan Ah Kow while guardedly sitting on his tissue-paper-marked seat.

Management confirmed the 400% markup covers the vital cost of flickering fluorescent lights and a hygiene rating that is clearly a work of fiction.

“You want extra gravy? Extra one dollar hor, don’t say I never warn you!” screamed a vendor who hasn't seen sunlight since the nineties.

The experience ends when a tray-return ambassador aggressively tackles you for leaving a single sesame seed behind.