The Yishun Ring Road carpark has officially been upgraded to a sanctioned octagon following a high-stakes collision between two bicycle-riding brats.

Instead of exchanging basic pleasantries, the local Aunties decided to engage in a full-scale battle royale to determine whose spawn was less of a total failure.

An 18-year-old girl was arrested after demonstrating her elite "rash act" skills, proving that Yishun’s secondary school curriculum is primarily focused on tactical slapping and hair-pulling.

One victim was seen sprawled on the grass like a discarded Sheng Siong plastic bag while bystanders filmed the chaos for their daily Stomp dopamine hit.

MHA confirms that breathing Yishun air for over six minutes causes spontaneous, unprovoked combat.