Vets in Singapore are finally being held accountable for charging $500 just to tell you your cat is fat and fucking hates you.

The new Veterinary Council ensures that "fur-parents" with more money than sense can officially bankrupt any vet who fails to perform a miracle on a 15-year-old guinea pig.

With fines jumping to $50,000, the government is making it clear that accidentally killing a poodle is now legally more expensive than a hit-and-run in a Ferrari.

One Ministry spokesperson confirmed the council will prioritize complaints from owners who insist their Pomeranians are vegan.

"If you can't fix a hamster's terminal cancer with a $2,000 laser, we will take your license and your house," the official added.

Singaporeans are thrilled they can finally sue someone when their biological substitute for a child inevitably bites it.