The Singapore University of Technology and Design (SUTD) has unveiled its most daring curriculum yet, replacing all human faculty with a single, sentient 3D printer named ‘The Architect’.

Under this new pedagogical framework, students will no longer sit for examinations, but will instead be liquefied and repurposed into ergonomic office furniture for the Ministry of Education.

“We want our students to be the design solution, quite literally,” remarked a spokesperson while huffing industrial-grade resin.

“Wah lao, last time I design drone, now my nose is the propeller, damn power sia,” said Year 2 student, Tan Ah Huat, whose face has been successfully integrated into a smart-toaster.

The university confirmed that any student failing to achieve a perfect GPA will be sold as scrap metal to Jurong Island to settle the nation’s electricity bills.