Commuters at Sembawang MRT station were treated to a complimentary 4D sensory experience yesterday when a North-South Line train decided to start vaping from its undercarriage.

Witnesses reported that instead of fleeing for their lives like functional human beings, approximately 400 Singaporeans immediately reached for their phones to secure the best angle for their TikTok followers.

"I saw the smoke and thought, wah lau, this is going to get so many views," said one commuter who narrowly avoided inhaling toxic fumes to ensure his camera was in 4K resolution.

SMRT Trains President Lam Sheau Kai later clarified that the smoke was merely caused by a "stuck brake," which is corporate speak for "the train is fucking falling apart but please don't stop paying your fares."

"It wasn't a fire, it was just the train expressing its lan pa fire over being forced to work on a Sunday evening," an SMRT spokesperson explained while hiding a fire extinguisher behind his back.

The evacuation process was reportedly delayed by several minutes because several aunties refused to move until they finished sending a lengthy WhatsApp voice note about the "scary smoke" to their family group chats.

Despite the station looking like a Zouk mosh pit from the year 2004, SMRT assured the public that everything was "operating normally," which in Singapore means the trains are at least moving slightly more often than they are exploding.

Commuters who were forced to disembark were reminded that while their lives were momentarily in danger, the fare gates remained fully powered to ensure everyone paid their $2.10 for the privilege of almost dying.

One disgruntled passenger noted that the thick, acrid smoke at Sembawang was still more breathable than the toxic air in any local SME office on a Monday morning.

Authorities have urged the public not to panic during future malfunctions, as long as they remember to tag the official SMRT account in their deathbed Instagram Stories.

Si mi lanchi stuck brake, the real problem is that these trains have been tired of living since the Lee Kuan Yew era.