As SK Hynix celebrates a 406% profit surge, Singaporean bosses are reportedly climaxing into their ergonomic chairs at the prospect of a future where employees are entirely obsolete.

The AI boom has become so lucrative that local firms are now replacing entire departments with a single Nvidia chip programmed to automatically reject leave applications and calculate the exact amount of oxygen a worker can consume before it hits the bottom line.

"Why hire a fresh grad who wants 'mental health days' when I can buy a silicon wafer that works 24/7 and doesn't complain about the pantry being empty?" asked one CEO while vibrating with pure greed.

The government has responded by launching a new SkillsFuture course titled "How to Look Busy While a GPU Does Your Job," ensuring citizens can collect a paycheck until the robots decide humans are too inefficient to even be used as biological batteries.

Meanwhile, junior analysts are being repurposed as manual cooling fans, waving cardboard files over server racks to ensure the AI continues generating massive returns for shareholders who haven't felt a human emotion since the 1997 financial crisis.