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Singapore Slurp: SM Lee Travels To China To Stare At Expensive Wet Ditch
singapore news

SM Lee Travels To China To Stare At Expensive Wet Ditch

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Alex Wong
Tuesday 19th May 2026 @ 08:08 SST
πŸ€ͺ1,187

Senior Minister Lee Hsien Loong has successfully travelled thousands of miles just to stand next to a very long, very expensive hole in the ground.

The Pinglu Canal, a $13.7 billion watery trench, promises to deliver mountains of cheap electric vehicles and pungent durians directly into the gaping maws of Singaporeans with zero self-control.

Local experts confirm that shortening the shipping route by 740km is essential for ensuring that useless plastic trinkets from Taobao reach Jurong Port before the buyer even realizes they were drunk-shopping.

SM Lee, who is definitely not bored in his new role, spent hours staring intensely at the muddy water to ensure the current was sufficiently pro-business.

β€œThis canal is a game-changer,” said one official, while wiping sweat from his brow.

β€œNow we can import economic integration at a pace that would make a regular civil servant collapse from overwork.”

Government sources claim the ditch is the most exciting development since the flushing toilet.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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