Senior Minister Lee Hsien Loong arrived in Guangxi to remind the world that international trade is basically a high-stakes game of Monopoly where Singapore is the tiny metal dog getting crushed by a giant red boot.

Speaking in Nanning, SM Lee admitted that trade isn’t always "win-win," which is diplomatic code for "they are stealing our lunch money and we are thanking them for the cardio."

He emphasized that we must "work" to make it mutually beneficial, suggesting that if Singaporeans bend over at just the right angle, the friction might eventually feel like a massage.

The new Pinglu Canal will reportedly allow goods to flow seamlessly, ensuring cheap plastic crap reaches our shores before our miserable salaries even hit our bank accounts.

Local businesses are encouraged to invest in the region, with experts noting that while returns are "slow," the thrill of watching your capital evaporate in a communist province is a priceless experience.