In a desperate attempt to verify that the sun-scorched wasteland of Lim Chu Kang isn't just a government-funded simulation, two Singaporeans successfully initiated a high-velocity physical greeting on Neo Tiew Road.

The 61-year-old van driver was so moved by the sudden human contact that he remained fused to his seat, requiring SCDF officers to use hydraulic rescue equipment to surgically remove him from his new mechanical personality.

Both drivers were reportedly conscious, likely shocked into alertness by the realization that life actually exists outside of a shopping mall.

“Walao, normally here only got mosquitoes and army boys,” an eyewitness remarked.

“Then suddenly this car and van go ‘bang’—straight away I feel like I watching Hollywood movie, but with more aunties.”