As Australia flees the Middle East like a panicked wallaby, Singaporeans are reportedly refusing to evacuate until they fully maximise their travel insurance claims.

While the Australian Foreign Minister shutters embassies to avoid drone strikes, local tourists in Dubai remain more concerned about the exchange rate.

"Wah lau, the missile haven't hit my hotel yet mah, why must go so early?" said one local bargain-hunter.

"Air tickets so expensive, now go back very rugi one, you know? Bombs only what, still can see from balcony!"

A Singaporean’s fear of losing a deposit is significantly higher than their fear of being vaporised by a missile.

The Ministry of Staying Put advised citizens to wear helmets while queueing for brunch.