
Sinkies Praise HDB HIP Dust As New National Fragrance
The Housing and Development Board has successfully terraformed Toa Payoh into a lunar wasteland through its latest renovation blitz.
The Home Improvement Programme (HIP) has released a fine white powder so thick it makes the 2013 haze look like a light morning mist.
Residents are reportedly using the toxic debris as a substitute for premium talcum powder and industrial-grade lubricants.
"Wah lao, my whole kitchen like winter wonderland but smell like cement and broken dreams," said 60-year-old Aunty Bee, while coughing up a grey lung.
Authorities claim the dust is actually "Progress Particles" designed to remind citizens that their assets are slowly disintegrating into nothingness.
"Last time I buy bird nest, now I just open mouth when contractor drill my toilet, free minerals mah," chirped local resident Ah Boy.
Property agents are already listing "dust-enriched" units for an extra $50,000, citing the authentic industrial aesthetic.
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