The Great Singaporean F&B Purge is in full swing as independent restaurants collapse faster than a landlord’s sense of mercy.

While chefs weep into their artisanal truffle oil, local diners have clarified they only find a restaurant "meaningful" once a "Closing Forever" sign is taped to the window.

Statistics show that Sinkies prefer spending $2,000 on flight tickets to Japan just to eat a convenience store egg sandwich rather than paying for a local meal that doesn't come with a loyalty stamp card.

"Eh, $48 for lunch? Siao ah? In JB I can get ten plates of chicken rice and a massage for that price!" said one local auntie.

Experts predict Singapore’s future dining scene will soon consist entirely of 8,000 identical Mala stalls and pure sadness.