Exhausted Singaporeans have officially petitioned the government to replace the entire civil service with the local property CEO currently embroiled in a massive sex scandal.

While most Sinkies are too biologically depleted to even make eye contact with their spouses after a 14-hour shift, this mogul has somehow found the tactical stamina to maintain a business empire and a mistress.

“I can barely summon the strength to unwrap a McDonald’s burger, yet this man is performing Olympic-level gymnastics in a condo showroom,” remarked one sleep-deprived citizen.

In a nation where the birth rate is lower than a snake’s belly, citizens are demanding he release a 10-part Masterclass on how to juggle infidelity without needing a three-day nap.

The Ministry of Manpower is reportedly investigating whether the CEO’s high-performance libido can be bottled and sold as a substitute for overpriced iced milo.

Forget moral outrage; Singaporeans are simply desperate to know what brand of bird’s nest soup he drinks to avoid dying of a heart attack mid-act.

At this rate, the only way to save the national TFR is to make extra-marital affairs a mandatory KPI for all middle managers.