While US Spec Ops were busy playing G.I. Joe in Iran, Singaporeans are reportedly fucking furious they missed out on the $85,000 "Capture-A-Pilot" reward.

"Wah lau, 85k can buy so many BTO upgrades," lamented one Grab driver.

As Trump brags about "overwhelming superiority," local residents are more traumatized by Shanmugam’s warning that cai fan prices are about to go interstellar.

Meanwhile, the government insists the RTS Link to JB remains "on track," proving that not even a tactical nuke will stop Singaporeans from crossing the border for cheap bird nest and a cheeky massage.

If the world ends, at least we’ll die with a full tank of RON97 and a Diamond membership at Don Don Donki.