The Ministry of Health has sparked national panic by suggesting psychologists should possess actual degrees rather than "vibes" and "Live, Laugh, Love" posters.

Thousands of Singaporeans are now questioning their mental health journey after realizing their $300-an-hour sessions were essentially expensive gossip with a stranger in a cardigan.

The new Allied Health Professions Act ensures practitioners have studied human brains instead of just binge-watching TikToks about "narcissistic gaslighting."

One local patient expressed utter betrayal upon discovering his consultant's background.

"I ask him why I always so heart pain, he tell me 'don't think so much' and charge me for tissue," he grumbled.

"I thought he specialist, but actually he just my kaypoh neighbor, siao liao!"