The Shanghai Symphony Orchestra debuted at the Esplanade, testing exactly how long a Singaporean can sit still without a buffet voucher.

While the Russian classics were met with the standard glazed expressions of people pretending to be sophisticated, the “Kitchen” suite caused an immediate Pavlovian drooling event in the gallery.

The conductor confirmed that the movements were specifically designed to simulate the existential dread of being stuck in a queue for expensive pork ribs.

"I thought got free premium soup during the solo lah, but only got violin noise," grumbled one victim who had brought his own ceramic spoon.

The ensemble has since been warned that referencing food without providing samples is considered a psychological hate crime in Singapore.