Inspired by an actor receiving a trophy forged from shrapnel-riddled metal in Ukraine, Singaporeans are now demanding “National Bravery Awards” made from the rusted remains of SMRT power rails.

Commuters argue that navigating a signal failure during peak hour at City Hall is a dystopian feat of psychological endurance that puts Hollywood war dramas to shame.

One disgruntled passenger noted that while Ukraine faces artillery, Singaporeans face the existential horror of a 30-minute delay without functioning ventilation.

“Wah lao, Ukraine train kena bomb then get Oscar? Our train break down every week also national disaster what!” shouted a commuter stuck at Jurong East.

“We also deserve resilience award for smelling five different underarms on the Circle Line every morning lah!”