The national sky-boss announced that the highly anticipated "Day of Feasting" will officially land on a Saturday, robbing millions of Singaporeans of a weekday off.

Official calculations revealed that the moon was "acting like a tiny brat" and refused to hover at the government-mandated altitude required for a Friday holiday.

"I stand there wait so long, then the sky-boss say the moon too short cannot see," complained one local worker.

"Always like that one, the moon also want to play punk and spoil our long weekend!"

Scientists confirmed the moon’s refusal to grow taller has caused a nationwide productivity spike that literally nobody asked for.