
Sinkies Confused As American Golfer Claims Using Brain Helps Win Tournaments
Sentosa Golf Club was rocked this week as American golfer Auston Kim revealed that having a functioning brain actually helps in professional sports.
Local Sinkies, who usually reserve their mental capacity for calculating the exact second a Grab surge price will ruin their life, expressed deep confusion at the concept of a βmental game.β
Kimβs reliance on a mental coach has sparked a nationwide crisis among Singaporean parents who previously thought mental health was just a myth invented by Gen Z to avoid tuition.
βI usually just swing the stick and pray the ball doesnβt hit a monitor lizard or a corrupt billionaire,β said one local towkay while adjusted his $50,000 watch.
Meanwhile, local amateur Chen Xingtong continues to climb the leaderboard, proving that the only psychological edge a Singaporean needs is the crushing, omnipresent fear of disappointing their mother.
Experts suggest that if more Singaporeans adopted a βmental game,β they might finally realize that walking across a field in 35-degree heat for four hours is objectively a sign of clinical insanity.
This satire is based on a real news story.
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