The Indonesian Rupiah has plummeted so hard that money changers at The Arcade are now using the 100,000-denominated notes as high-quality napkins for their nasi lemak.

With the exchange rate hitting a record 13,500, Indonesian tycoons have discovered that their entire family’s net worth can currently buy exactly one medium-sized Coke at an Orchard Road cinema.

Mount Elizabeth Hospital reported a massive shortage of "corrupt uncles," as regional oligarchs realize they can no longer afford the $50,000 required for a Singaporean doctor to stare at their balls for ten minutes.

Meanwhile, average Singaporeans are descending upon Batam like a plague of hungry locusts, feeling like absolute gods because their $20 note can now purchase an entire spa and the manager’s landed house.

One Singaporean man was seen throwing stacks of Rupiah notes at a masseuse while screaming, “I am the fucking King of Riau!”

Experts warn that if the currency drops any further, Indonesians will have to trade three coal mines just to enter a Singaporean pharmacy for a single box of Panadol.

It’s a total bloodbath for our neighbors, but at least your weekend trip to Jakarta now includes the ability to buy the hotel you're staying in with loose change.