Local man Lim Kopi has successfully transitioned from a functioning member of society to a vibrating husk of human flesh fueled entirely by the Nasdaq opening bell.

Lim, who hasn't seen sunlight since the 2021 bull run, now measures his heart rate in basis points and his self-worth in Jensen Huang’s leather jacket collection.

The 34-year-old recently liquidated his grandmother’s heirloom gold to double down on leveraged Tesla shorts, citing a "gut feeling" he had while hallucinating from sleep deprivation.

"Wah lau, STI so slow can die, better I go all-in on US tech and pray to the green candle," Lim screamed while manually refreshing his brokerage app at 3 AM.

"S&P 500 go up, I am king of the world; it go down, I just eat plain bread lor."

Financial experts suggest this obsession is the only way Singaporeans can feel a sense of scale without leaving their tiny, air-conditioned cage.

Lim’s wife was unavailable for comment, as she was reportedly pawned to a Cayman Islands hedge fund to cover a margin call.