As the S&P 500 hits record highs, local retail investors have officially decided that world peace is finally profitable.

Nothing says "bull market" like the prospect of a Middle East deal and AI-driven servers that will eventually replace your entire HR department.

One local uncle was seen furiously refreshing his brokerage app between mouthfuls of laksa, visibly aroused by Dell’s 32% surge.

"I don't care about geopolitics as long as my US tech stocks keep pumping," he whispered, ignoring his wife's calls about their mounting debt.

While global leaders bicker over borders, the real winners are the Sinkies betting their entire CPF on Trump’s social media posts.

Analysts suggest that the only way to sustain this rally is to ensure world leaders continue treating international diplomacy like a high-stakes game of Monopoly.

Local traders are now praying for more "optimism" because their actual retirement plan currently consists of winning the TOTO group 1 prize.