Retiree Lionel has declared a one-man war on the Smart Nation by demanding physical receipts to prove his gallbladder surgery actually happened.

He claims that squinting at a five-inch screen to see his life savings evaporate is significantly less satisfying than holding a physical A4 sheet of crushing debt.

"How am I supposed to laminate a PDF and show it to my kakis at the void deck?" he asked while accidentally deleting his Singpass app for the fifth time this morning.

The 74-year-old insists that paper receipts are essential because they provide a much-needed physical weapon to swat away the grim reaper during hospital visits.

Government tech bros are reportedly "shaking and crying" as their multi-million dollar digital infrastructure is defeated by one man’s refusal to understand what a "cloud" is.

Lionel remains firm that unless the HealthHub app can be used to 'chope' a seat at the hawker centre, it is functionally useless.