
Sinkie Sells Mother To Join YouTube Guru’s Trading Circle
A local man has finally achieved total financial freedom by handing his entire life savings to a nineteen-year-old wearing a rented tuxedo.
Financial guru "Jaxson Prosperity" promised a four-hundred percent return from his bedroom, provided viewers didn't click 'Skip Ad' before the motivational yelling finished.
The investor, Mr. Lim, liquidated his entire portfolio after being insulted by a pre-roll advertisement while trying to watch a tutorial on how to boil water.
"This brother say he got secret lobang, so I just hantam everything lor," said Mr. Lim, now residing in a cardboard box near the Singapore River.
Jaxson’s "passive income" strategy involves convincing other gullible idiots that a basic Excel spreadsheet is actually a proprietary AI-driven wealth-generating engine.
"Next time I also can wear fake Rolex and shout at people on YouTube, steady poompipi!" Mr. Lim added.
The authorities have reminded citizens that while the guru’s Lamborghini is leased, the stupidity of his followers is a permanent asset.
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