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Singapore Slurp: Sinkie Prefers Sudden Volcanic Death Over Losing $200 Airfare Refund
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Sinkie Prefers Sudden Volcanic Death Over Losing $200 Airfare Refund

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David Cheong
Tuesday 19th May 2026 @ 08:06 SST
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Singaporeans are reportedly doubling down on their plans to scale exploding Indonesian volcanoes, citing a pathological fear of wasting money.

Local hiker Tan Ah Kow told reporters that being buried alive in scorching tectonic ash is a small price to pay for a cheap weekend getaway.

"I spent three months training on the stairs of my block," Tan said while packing a $5 Shopee poncho for protection against molten lava.

"If I cancel now, I lose the $200 flight and the deposit for the guide. Death is temporary, but a non-refundable booking is forever."

Experts suggest the surge in volcano tourism stems from a desperate need to find a personality outside of a fluorescent cubicle.

Other climbers noted that volcanic eruption warnings were merely "polite suggestions," much like the smoking bans at void decks.

"Actually, being turned into a charcoal statue is great for my TikTok aesthetic," Tan added.

"It’s the most effective way to ensure my boss stops asking for those weekly reports."

This satire is based on a real news story.

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