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Singapore Slurp: Sinkie Politician Horrified To Learn Luncheon Meat Is Luxury Asset
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Sinkie Politician Horrified To Learn Luncheon Meat Is Luxury Asset

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Sarah Lim
Tuesday 10th March 2026 @ 00:31 SST
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An Aljunied politician was reportedly treated for severe emotional distress after discovering that a single can of mystery chicken meat now costs more than a medium-sized island.

The opposition leader, who apparently hasn't stepped into a supermarket since the invention of fire, was visibly shaken when informed that luncheon meat is now classified as a luxury asset.

Witnesses claim his soul left his body upon learning that pineapple pastries require a bank loan and a pint of blood to purchase.

"He look like he see ghost sia, his jaw drop until the floor cleaner," noted one supermarket auntie.

"Nowadays everything so expensive, soon we all go botanical gardens eat leaves for dinner already lah," she added while weeping into her empty wallet.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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