As the US and Iran prepare to sit down in Pakistan like two aunties fighting over the last discounted seabass at Sheng Siong, Singaporeans are collectively shrugging because nobody has time to care about 5,000 dead foreigners when the price of fishball noodles is hitting seven dollars.

Local SME boss, Tan Ah Kow, expressed his supreme annoyance at the conflict, stating that if the Iranians have enough energy to block the Strait of Hormuz, they definitely have enough energy to finish the data entry he assigned last Chinese New Year.

“Kanina, all these world leaders acting like they got big lanjiao, but in the end, it’s just the small people suffering the high petrol prices,” said Tan, while checking his stock portfolio to see if he could profit from the human suffering in southern Tehran.

The US proposal for a 20-year nuclear suspension was met with laughter from local landlords, who pointed out that 20 years is barely enough time to squeeze three generations of tenants out of a single partitioned utility room.

Meanwhile, the blockade of Iranian ports has been described by local experts as basically the same thing as choping a seat at Amoy Street Food Centre with a pack of wet tissues, except with more Tomahawk missiles and slightly less aggression than a senior citizen during a 1-for-1 warehouse sale.

Middle-aged Sinkies are reportedly praying the talks fail, not because they hate peace, but because they already topped up their petrol tanks when prices were high and don't want to look like idiots if the price drops tomorrow.

"I don't care who bombs who, as long as my 95-octane doesn't go up another ten cents," said one resident, echoing the nationwide sentiment that a total nuclear holocaust is fine as long as it happens after the evening peak hour electronic road pricing rates.

The Ministry of Manpower has yet to comment on whether a nuclear winter constitutes a valid excuse for taking a medical leave.