Local logistics coordinator Marcus Lim has officially petitioned the Small Claims Tribunal for sexual restitution following a "casual" dinner in Amoy Street.

After shelling out twelve dollars for a bowl of sliced fish soup with extra milk, Marcus felt the financial investment warranted a vigorous session in the handicap toilet.

"Wa lao, I give her the fried fish head some more, she think her face gold plated ah?" Marcus fumed.

"Nowadays these girls eat my fish then go home sleep, I might as well go Geylang, more value for money lor."

Sociologists claim the Singaporean dating scene has devolved into a literal "meat market" where the price of a side dish dictates the level of depravity expected.

The Ministry of Social and Family Development is reportedly drafting a "Meal-to-Mouth" exchange rate to manage rising tensions.