Local Tesla owner Gerald Tan is reportedly "stoked" by the escalating conflict in the Middle East, noting that every cruise missile launched is another five cents saved at the charging station.

"I used to be the neighborhood joke, sitting in my silent car like a loner while everyone else enjoyed the roar of an actual engine," Gerald said, while monitoring a live feed of burning oil refineries.

"But now that petrol prices are higher than my blood pressure, I look like a total financial god."

Environmentalists have praised the war for doing more for carbon emissions than ten years of pathetic plastic straw bans.

Analysts suggest that a total regional collapse could finally make the "Green Plan 2030" a reality, provided enough people die to keep fuel prices at record highs.

"It's about the bigger picture," Gerald added, plugging his Model 3 into a socket fueled by Indonesian coal.

"If a few cities have to go dark so my battery stays full, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make."