A local homeowner's dream of a minimalist Scandinavian aesthetic ended in a structural massacre this morning.

Despite paying $1.2 million for a Queenstown resale flat, Mr. Tan decided a $150 delivery fee for a wardrobe was an act of financial terrorism.

He instead opted for a flat-pack mystery box from Taobao that arrived smelling faintly of industrial solvent and broken dreams.

"Siao liao, the shelf go left and the door go right until my whole living room look like earthquake zone," lamented Mr. Tan from beneath a pile of compressed cardboard.

Neighbors reported hearing high-pitched screaming followed by the distinct sound of a man trying to fix a structural failure with a stapler.

"Wah lau, the manual only got three picture and one screw missing so I hoot only then the whole thing collapse," he added, as his TV console shed its wood-grain sticker like a molting snake.