Moving in together in Singapore is less of a romantic milestone and more of a tactical descent into psychological warfare.

One local couple recently discovered that the "honeymoon phase" lasts exactly four minutes until someone leaves a wet towel on the parquet flooring.

"Wahlau, I thought living together very shiok, but now I see his face every morning I want to jump from the corridor," said 28-year-old Cheryl Tan.

The adjustment period involves learning to ignore the sound of your partner’s violent intestinal distress through walls thinner than a budget tissue.

"Eh, her hair everywhere sia, like some horror movie in the toilet bowl," complained her partner, Jason, while weeping into a cold plate of bee hoon.

Experts suggest the only way to maintain a libido in a cramped flat is to pretend your partner is a complete stranger you are hiding from.

Otherwise, the most action you’ll get is a passive-aggressive WhatsApp about whose turn it is to scrub the toilet grime.