In a world-class display of financial gymnastics, a local car import director has successfully negotiated a $14 million fine down to zero dollars and a decade of state-funded lodging.

The savvy entrepreneur concluded that Singapore’s vehicle taxes are so astronomical that a cell is a more competitive lifestyle choice than paying the LTA.

“Siao ah, fourteen million where to find? Changi prison at least got free rice and no need to pay ERP,” remarked a fellow motor trader.

Even the director’s employee joined the tax-free holiday, proving that the Singaporean dream is really just avoiding the taxman by any means necessary.

Clearly, in Singapore, the most affordable way to handle 2,500 cars is to simply be jailed.