As the pungent aroma of rotting gym socks blankets the island, Singaporeans have officially suspended all civilized behaviour to hunt for the perfect Mao Shan Wang.

Legions of sweaty aunties are currently hijacking tour buses to Johor Bahru, prepared to commit light international espionage for a discount on D24.

The Ministry of Health has issued a warning that the collective breath of the nation now classifies as a chemical weapon capable of melting steel beams.

"Eh, you don't know ah, this one is 'Old Tree' leh, if I don't eat now I will die, better than Toto winning," shouted local enthusiast Tan Ah Kow while licking a thorny husk.

Grown men are seen weeping in Geylang backalleys, clutching seeds like precious heirlooms after spending their entire life savings on a single styrofoam box.

The government has considered replacing the national anthem with the rhythmic sound of a cleaver hitting a wooden board.