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Singapore Slurp: Singaporeans Mistake Massive China Stock Losses For Compulsory CPF Contribution
Money No Enough

Singaporeans Mistake Massive China Stock Losses For Compulsory CPF Contribution

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Benjamin Koh
Tuesday 12th May 2026 @ 06:00 SST
πŸ€ͺ1,063

Local investors are currently celebrating the historic collapse of Chinese equities by convincing themselves that a 90% loss is actually a sophisticated tax-avoidance strategy.

Financial analysts suggest that staring at a crimson portfolio provides the same adrenaline rush as a car crash, but with significantly less insurance payout.

β€œLast time my broker say buy the dip, now I dip until inside the longkang,” noted local gambler-turned-philosopher Lim Teck Huat.

β€œMy Tencent shares now only can buy two chicken wings, but never mind, I doing this for the glory of the motherland lor.”

The Singapore government has yet to intervene, as they are reportedly too busy watching their own sovereign wealth fund evaporate into a fine mist of HKD.

β€œDon't cry lah, if the stock go to zero, it just mean the graph is more clean,” Lim added, while harvesting grass from the roadside for lunch.

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