Local financial analysts have confirmed that the Sinkie stock market is soaring because the average citizen has become entirely immune to the prospect of global annihilation.

While warships clog the Strait of Hormuz and oil prices threaten to turn a tank of petrol into a luxury asset, local investors remain remarkably calm, largely because they are already dead inside from forty years of corporate servitude.

"We aren't shrugging off energy fears," explained one trader while frantically buying call options on a company that manufactures industrial-grade body bags.

"We just realize that if the world ends, we finally won't have to attend that Friday afternoon town hall meeting."

Government officials have praised this total lack of human emotion, noting that Singaporeans are a uniquely qualified population capable of checking their dividend yields while their HDB blocks are physically melting from the heat.

One heartland auntie noted that she doesn’t care about crude oil shortages as long as her Kopi-O price remains protected.

She is reportedly willing to trade her youngest nephew to Iran if it ensures the S&P 500 hits 8,000.

Experts believe this trend will continue until the sun explodes, at which point the STI will likely rally another 5% on news of increased solar energy potential.