The Monetary Authority of Singapore has officially triggered the national apocalypse protocol after core inflation skyrocketed to a devastating 1.4 per cent.

Government officials warned that this microscopic price hike means citizens may soon have to sacrifice their middle-class dignity just to afford a side of broccoli.

Authorities blamed the surge on “seasonal effects,” implying that the simple act of being happy during a holiday is now a taxable offence.

“Siao eh, 1.4 per cent increase and you tell me relak?” fumed local resident Jerry Low, while queuing for a brand-new $2,000 smartphone.

“Soon my caifan uncle will charge me $5 just to look at the curry chicken!”

Economists suggest that if inflation hits 2 per cent, Singaporeans should simply hibernate until the next stimulus cheque arrives.