The Singaporean government has officially reclassified Friday nights as a state of emergency for the nation’s collective liver health.

Thousands of local women have begun their weekly ritual of transforming from exhausted corporate drones into high-fashion predators within the cramped confines of Raffles Place toilets.

Equipped with enough facial highlighter to be visible from the International Space Station, these warriors descend upon Clarke Quay like locusts seeking free gin.

"Wah lau, tonight must drink until blur because tomorrow no more free drinks for us girls liao," said local party-goer, Cheryl Tan, while balancing on heels tall enough to trigger altitude sickness.

"If the bartender never give me extra shot, I confirm will complain to his manager until he cry, I tell you."

Experts suggest the average Singaporean female can withstand four hours of deafening EDM while simultaneously calculating the exact market value of every man’s watch in the room.

The night concludes only when the delicate balance between looking expensive and dry-heaving into a public flowerpot finally tips toward the latter.

Authorities remind citizens that screeching top-forty hits in the middle of Circular Road does not actually constitute a substitute for a personality.