A local 28-year-old female has achieved a spiritual breakthrough by transforming her entire physical form into a high-pressure vacuum for premium shellfish.

Desperate to avoid inquiries regarding her barren womb, Cheryl Tan spent the three-hour reunion dinner maintaining a state of "abalone-induced catatonia."

Witnesses report she consumed the equivalent of a small European nation’s GDP in dried scallops while her grandmother shouted about her sagging jowls.

"Every time my auntie start talking about my 'expiring eggs', I just shove one whole abalone in my mouth and make 'mhm-mhm' sound," Cheryl explained.

"You cannot ask me when I getting married if I am currently choking on a two-hundred-dollar sea creature, correct or not?"

Experts suggest this defensive mechanism is the only way for Singaporean girls to survive the annual psychological warfare of the family table.

"Wahlau, her skill damn power sia, she eat until her face turn golden like the sauce," said her cousin, who was busy hiding his own unemployment.

By the time the sea cucumber arrived, Cheryl had successfully dissociated so hard that she could no longer feel the shame of her singlehood.