Search and rescue teams have officially called off the hunt for 26-year-old Cheryl Tan after she failed to upload a single boomerang of a hotel bathtub during her weekend at Capella.

According to local authorities, a Singaporean woman’s pulse is directly tethered to the real-time engagement metrics of her poolside bikini shots.

Without the mandatory "Take me back" caption or a grainy video of a $45 avocado toast, her legal status has been downgraded from "Content Creator" to "Non-Existent Ghost."

Friends were alerted when Cheryl’s Instagram Story remained blank for over four hours, a duration usually reserved for coma patients or those forced to fly in Premium Economy.

"Walao, we all so scared sia, she go staycation but no post her bathrobe selfie, I thought she kena kidnap by hotel ghost," said her best friend, Jolene, while filtering her own 400th photo of a croissant.

"If you never tag the location and show the marble bathroom, did you even go? So xia suay one, like that better just disappear," she added.

The government has since warned that all travel to Japan is considered legally void unless a photo of a Nara deer biting an expensive handbag is submitted to the national archives.