A local business journalist has achieved "career clarity" after paying a life coach to confirm that their professional existence is essentially a slow-motion car crash.

The reporter, haunted by fears of AI replacement and global recession, found immense comfort in being told that "resilience" is just corporate code for suffering in silence.

The breakthrough occurred when the coach suggested the reporter "reframe" their impending obsolescence as an exciting opportunity to explore homelessness.

"Wah lau, I pay so much money for what? He tell me to 'embrace the pivot'. I say pivot to where? Pivot to become Grab driver is it?" remarked the confused professional.

In an uncertain world, the only thing truly certain is the coach’s bank balance.