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Singapore Slurp: Singaporean Joins GT Masters To Finally Escape Shitty PIE Traffic
singapore news

Singaporean Joins GT Masters To Finally Escape Shitty PIE Traffic

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Marcus Tan
Wednesday 25th March 2026 @ 16:13 SST
πŸ€ͺ1,209

Local speed demon Ethan Brown has officially fled the country to join the ADAC GT Masters in Europe, citing a desperate need to drive faster than a Grab-Hitch driver in a 2012 Toyota Prius.

The 21-year-old will pilot a Lamborghini Huracan GT3 EVO2, finally achieving the Singaporean dream of hitting 200km/h without a Traffic Police officer appearing out of a bush to ruin his entire week.

β€œWalao, in Singapore I shift to fourth gear only then must jam brake for speed camera,” said one envious local driver.

β€œOver there, no need to worry about some CB officer hiding behind a bridge to fuck your license for doing 91km/h.”

Experts say racing in Germany is the only way to drive fast without being shamed on SG Road Vigilante.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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