Singaporean wives are reportedly launching a nationwide crowdfunding campaign to ensure their husbands never return from their weekly Johor golfing excursions.

The initiative, titled 'Project Par-Four-Ever', aims to trap men in a humid wasteland of bunker shots and overpriced lager until their skin resembles a piece of salty bak kwa.

"Wah lau, he go Johor play golf I so happy can finally breathe," said local wife Mrs. Tan while lighting a celebratory cigar.

"Don't come back also can, I already change the house passcode and sold his expensive massage chair to the garung guni man."

Sociologists note that the surge in husbands hitting the green correlates directly with a 400% increase in wives enjoying peace and quiet without a man complaining about the air-con bill.

"My husband say he go Batam for 'networking', I say go lah, go until your legs rot," chuckled local resident Joanne.

"I take his supplementary credit card go Ion Orchard, he busy hitting tiny white balls anyway, so he won't see the bank alerts."

Experts suggest the only thing a Singaporean woman fears more than a global recession is her husband returning home before the mall closes.

As of press time, thousands of local females were seen sabotaging their husbands' alarm clocks to ensure they stay on the course indefinitely.