In a brutal display of diplomatic musical chairs, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs has rewarded one high-flier with Belgian waffles while condemning another to find out if Timor-Leste has air-conditioning.

The lucky Accountant-Diplomat will spend his tenure double-parking his Mercedes in Brussels, concurrently ignoring Luxembourg and the Netherlands for a triple salary.

Meanwhile, the Communications Veteran has been appointed the first-ever Singaporean to officially acknowledge Timor-Leste’s existence on a map.

“Siao liao, I thought Timor-Leste was a new hipster cafe in Tiong Bahru,” she reportedly sobbed while packing three crates of insect repellent.

“Why my colleague get the 'Buy 1 Free 3' Europe package but I kena sent to the ASEAN DLC map?”

MFA confirmed the posting was decided via a high-stakes game of 'Scissors-Paper-Stone' held in an Istana basement.