The Ministry of Home Affairs has announced a radical amendment to the Women’s Charter, effective immediately. In a bid to foster "radical domestic harmony," the 1961 act will now mandate that all Singaporean women must, upon marriage, legally adopt their husband’s preferred brand of instant coffee and his singular opinion on the correct usage of ‘lah’ versus ‘leh’.

"This is about streamlining marital operations," explained a spokesperson. "Why waste precious cognitive load arguing over something trivial when we can just sign a legally binding document on the choice of Kopi-O sachets? It’s efficiency, lah."

Critics suggest the move marginalises female autonomy, but local wives are surprisingly compliant. One resident, Madam Tan, shrugged, "Eh, my husband drink 3-in-1, so fine. Better than him keep asking me why my savings account not as thick as his mother’s." The Charter now also includes a clause requiring women to display a minimum of three of their husband’s most prestigious business cards on the fridge.