The Ministry of National Development has unveiled a revolutionary "Eye for an Eye" policy to finally settle the nation’s escalating HDB corridor wars.

Under the new framework, mediation sessions at the Community Mediation Centre will be replaced by televised gladiatorial combat held in a portable octagon.

Residents caught dripping laundry onto a neighbour’s duvet or practicing the recorder at 3 AM will be forced to defend their actions with a rattan cane.

"Wah lau, talk so much for what? My neighbour upstairs play marble every night, I see him in the cage I surely whack him jialat jialat," said disgruntled resident Mr Lim.

The winner of the combat will be awarded the loser’s HDB flat and the exclusive right to place ten redundant shoe racks in the common corridor.

Defeated parties will be stripped of their CPF and permanently relocated to a tent at East Coast Park.