The government has officially announced that traditional national flags will be replaced by grey, elastic-less briefs to better reflect the heartland's true soul.

Urban planners noted that the pungent scent of sun-dried cotton and crotch-sweat provides a more authentic olfactory experience for tourists visiting Toa Payoh.

"Wah lau, my husband’s holey boxers is high-fashion okay, can help block the sun also," said Mdm Tan, while securing a pair of oversized granny-knickers with a rusted bamboo pole.

Property prices are expected to surge in blocks featuring the most "seasoned" garments, as buyers seek units with pre-installed biological deterrents against debt collectors.

"See that auntie 4th floor? Her panty so yellow, the property agent say can sell for two million dollars because of the vintage aesthetic," noted neighbour Ah Seng.

The Ministry has confirmed that any underwear without holes or suspicious stains will be confiscated for being "elitist and un-Singaporean."