SINGAPORE – In a bold move to prepare its populace for what officials are calling "peak human saturation," Singapore has announced mandatory queue training for all citizens. This comes after the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority (ICA) revealed a record 245 million travellers passed through the nation’s checkpoints in 2025, primarily via the Johor Bahru land links.

"Our predictive analytics indicate that by 2030, the average Singaporean will spend approximately 78% of their waking hours in a queue," explained an anonymous government official, speaking from an undisclosed, heavily fortified location. "This initiative ensures our citizens are not just resilient, but queue-resilient, maintaining a world-class standard of orderly waiting."

Citizens expressed mixed reactions. "Aiya, already so crowded everywhere, now got to train for queue also? Like that how to go JB quickly to buy cheap instant noodles?" exclaimed Mr. Tan Ah Kow, a self-proclaimed expert in cross-border shopping. Despite ICA's efficient passport-less clearance, experts warn the sheer volume necessitates a mental shift. Next on the agenda: designated "personal space minimisation" workshops.